OMIGOSH! I'm Genderqueer!!

Ok so I saw a documentary on genderqueers (biologically born women) a couple of months ago and man it made so much sense. Like, they don't feel like women. They don't feel like dudes either, though..they just are. And I totally get where they're comin from, except it's a little different for me. Like, for a while I was thinkin about it, and just thinkin it was a little less extreme for me, but no, not less extreme, just a totally different concept altogether. Those genderqueers... they hated going to the gyno because then they'd have to look at their ladyparts and whatever. They bind. All the time. I don't have the desire to do that. Like, I do wanna play with binding and stuff, but I don't feel the need to do it everyday. Sometimes I'd like to do it just for aesthetics; shirts fit better and whatnot. But like, I kinda got to a point where I feel like it's an either-or thing. I love being a woman. But i also love passing for a guy. I love wearing skirts in the summer..breezes are great. But then I'm also aware that I look like a guy in a skirt. But then...what's so bad about a dude in a skirt? Who said that was a horrible thing? I bet if a guy wore a skirt for a day, he'd quite enjoy the breeze on his nuts. I don't think i'd hesitate to rep my tartan and throw on a kilt if I was a dude. I'd be McGuinness/O'Shaughnessy/Fitzpatrickin' it up and not givin a fuck. And I'd probably get my ass beat. That's not my problem. I don't mind. I don't mind being called ma'am. I dont' mind being called sir. I don't mind the mildly disrespectful 'he..she...uh..she..damn...THAT..' I don't care. I painted my nails. After a while of thinking 'painted nails are for girly women, and i'm not girly woman' , i realized, i don't give a damn. I like fun colors. And i like paint. And OMG, they have nail polish in fun colors, and I've seen guys with nail polish. These things...they're not exclusive to one gender.
I'm only interested in women. I don't care if she wants to do things to my vag. I like having things done to my vag..by women. I'm only interested in men through the back door. Their back door, not mine. Apparently I'm so gay that I come back around through the back into heterosexuality. I wouldn't be opposed to an MTF. I'm still not too sure about an FTM. But I have a strong suspicion that these habits that I keep? I'd be keeping the same ones if I were biologically male. Except I'd have muttonchops outta this WORLD.



Fuck widdit.

http://www.last.fm/music/Modest+Mouse/_/Bukowski

i'm about to rip my hair out.

i'm so horny. i'm so horny it's ridiculous. like, i know i couldn't get laid if i tried, so i'm not even tryin, and there's no one in the city that i wanna fuck anyway. I haven't had sex since like, september. I guess I could capitalize my sentences, eh? Anyway. I think I'm gonna go on a road trip. Nah, i'm not goin on a road trip. Because i'll go on this road trip, spend money I don't have, and still not get laid. i'm hot; I shouldn't have to go to another state to fuck. Ugh. If dudes weren't so masculine and smell so manly and open their mouths and say such stupid, smart ridiculous inane things I'd probably fuck one of them. I'm almost that bad off. But then they don't like when you play with their nipples. (Learned that one the hard way.) I didn't kiss anyone for New Years. Well, the only person I wanted to kiss wasn't even where I was for New Years; i hung out with new friends. But still. I haven't been laid since august. I'm about to go in-fucking-sane. So instead of getting laid, i read stories about other people getting laid, and watch movies about other people getting laid, more commonly known as porn. Like, sometimes i just pet my vagina. For no reason. I don't even wanna masturbate. I just pet it to let her know someone will be there soon. Or not. Just to let her know she's not been forgotten. She doesn't wake up for me anymore; it's more like a comforting move. Kinda like how I pet my dog Roxie. I could use a cigarette. I was gonna quit smoking but now I don't think I will. I watched porn tonight. I'll masturbate tomorrow. Then I'll feel angry and lonely like I always do after I take advantage of myself.

Levi's Unbuttoned: Vote fer me cuz i'm poor and hot.

Expensive Underwear.

What the FUCK is the point? Why would you pay $32 for a pair of Polo boxers when your pussy is gonna smell just as bad at the end of the day as if you wore a pair of Hanes at 3 for $7? Who the hell really cares what brand is on your draws? Any bitch that's payin attention to your boxers when she's about to fuck you, probably doesn't really wanna fuck you. Maybe some of you guys are lacking. Maybe you have to pay $40 for underwear. I don't have to pay $40 for underwear because any bitch who's lucky enough to see them is likely trying to rip them off of me. Ok maybe I'll bullshittin a little cuz I do haev these random underwear pics on here, but. I don't need somethin that costs $30 to cover my ass. I wear Hanes. Nothing less, and nothing more. Ok maybe Fruit of the Loom, but I prefer Hanes.

Making my spot all KraziSexciKewl.

If anyone has any help on making my blogspot look super awesome, list a site or five. Cuz I needs to get this shit poppin.

Yeah...that's it...Poppin.

Happy Hands.

Why do straight women assume that just because you like women, it's okay for them to fondle you? I don't go around touching random men because I assume they're straight and want my hands all in their pockets and shit. Do you go around touching random men that you just met? Don't touch a lesbian/queer/gay girl and assume she won't knock you the hell out for getting in her personal space. BitchionEEEENMUCHknowyoulikedat.

Quadrilateral I was, now i warp like a smile.

So my friend Deej spent like an hour just now eReading me my chart. And. That shit was amazing. Because I know I'll lose it forever in cyberspace once I sign out, I'll put the highlights in this here blog. (Why do i feel like this needs to be a powerpoint presentation?) En-Tee-Waze.

Tuesday. December 10, 1983. St. Louis, MO. 5.23 pm. A tiny baby Amber squeezed her way....actually. A tiny baby Amber Caesarianed her way out of her mother feet first. And then there was some sort of ceremonial breaking of the mold. I don't remember all the details. But. Here's some stuff:

- Sun: Sagittarius (inner personality)
- Moon: Pisces (emotion)
- Rising: Gemini (outward)

I apparently have a shitload of fire and water in my chart. (FIREWATAH!!!)

My Gemini rising makes me look crazy and offputting to other people. My Sag makes me awesome and charming and makes people like me when they get past the appearance and speak to a bitch. My pisces is my pathos. I don't cry in front of nan nigga. I suck at monogamy. Actually, to show you how much I suck at monogamy, let me copy/paste a snippet. (I'm flave pierce)

cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:06:38 AM): GOOD lord!
Flave_Pierce (11/26/2008 12:06:46 AM): WHAT? I'm scared.
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:07:01 AM): it' means that your are really one of a kinda
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:07:44 AM): as a sag, your are crazy funny (duh)
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:08:56 AM): you arent that monogamous, you are dominant, HELLA charming, but not so great with monogamy
Flave_Pierce (11/26/2008 12:09:04 AM): LOL!!
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:09:06 AM): did i mention that you suck at monogamy?

AND LATER...

cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:36:28 AM): they really do
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:36:31 AM): really
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:36:38 AM): like seriously really
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:36:56 AM): you might want to study polyamory
Flave_Pierce (11/26/2008 12:36:56 AM): LOL
cocoabmean (11/26/2008 12:37:10 AM): and get you like 3 girlfriends
(More on that later.)

- Also. It's a big circle of crap right now. Sag will figure out how to do something, pisces' laziness and insecurity will freak out, and gemini will start the process over again. (So that Pisces can come shit on it each time. Bastard.)
- Pisces adds to my creativity. Musical though. Not much Visual. (Yeah. Can't draw.)
- Geminis talk a lot and don't bite their tongues. And neither do Sags. Which couldn't be truer.
- Gemini makes me look crazy but the Sag makes it look 'unique'. And if I had a dolla fa' everytime i heard thattern.
- I am also very cerebral... technical if you will when it comes to matters of communication. I explain stuff well. And I got a ton of common sense.

So. Now for my 72 virgins.
One 'needs' to be a Sag with a Scorpio rising, one a Cancer with a Leo rising and one an Aries with a Cancer rising. This is darned interesting. Lemme tell you why.

- Sag with a Scorpio rising - That ho is gonna be crazy. She's also gonna be a really good lay. And she wont bother me cuz she'll probably have two hoes off to the side herself.
- Cancer with a Leo rising - She'll 'drive me insane'. Why come, you ask. Well. She'll ALWAYS be there. She'll be clingy and emotional and wierd. And she'll cook and clean my house and kiss my booboos and be all loyal and submissive and do what I want. It is suggested that I take up using the term 'bust it baby' and keep her as such. And she's also gonna be ridiculously hot.
- Aries with a Cancer rising - She's gonna be the all around. She'll take care of me, she's gonna be hot, she's gonna be a good lay, and she's gonna stay outta my face. She's also gonna wanna be my #1, and can smell bullshit from a mile away, which is fine, cuz I can't lie worth a good goddamn anyway.

Ok I was just thoroughly amused by this detailed rundown of bitches I need to acquire for my stable that I'm apparently supposed to be having. And considering it's in the stars for me to be a big fat cheater, I'm even more impressed with my 2.5 year run.

So. That was fun. The shorthand version: I'm charming and I need a harem.

I'm gonna ask everyone to refer to me as the Sultan of Swing from now on.